A Brock Lesnar Dark Match, or The Beard-before-the-Beast Incarnate

BEARD! GOATEE! BEARD! GOATEE! BEARD! GOATEE! BEARD! GOATEE! Good, now that’s out of my system…

…Anyway, now that Brock Lesnar has finally started showing up on RAW again to remind us all that he is, in fact, the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, and that the WWE World Heavyweight Championship ACTUALLY EXISTS, I want to take a deep look into the the champ’s past.  Today, Lesnar is a beast of a man, or a beast of a mountain, or a beast of some unholy hybrid of a man-made-mountain, or something else that accurately describes how physically powerful, frightening and imposing he is, but back in early 2002 he was AT LEAST half-as scary as he is today.

This dark match happened during a SmackDown taping on March 12, 2002 – only SIX days before Lesnar made his televised debut on Monday Night RAW by flattening Maven, Al Snow and Spike Dudley on the canvas.  I’ll also have to assume that the benefits of being a Paul Heyman-guy that Heyman had only six days to find a razor tough enough, strong enough, and manly enough to get rid of that beard and goatee.  I guess when it comes to Brock Lesnar — the ONE in TWENTY-ONE and ONE — stainless steel’s not gonna cut it (literally), so adamantium or something might be the way to go. Anyway, check out Funaki’s reaction to Lesnar at first sight, that pop-up belly-to-belly suplex Lesnar executed (almost reminiscent of the suplex party that was the main event of SummerSlam 2014), that poor-poor referee (he looked lost out there), and most importantly, BEARD! GOATEE! BEARD! GOATEE! BEARD! GOATEE! BEARD! GOATEE!

Brock Lesnar Night Of Champions

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